Although I do not particularly care for the term “playing hard to get“, there are many reasons why the concept behind the term works so well.
In fact, it is not really about playing games or putting on a show. It is not supposed to be a game where you are playing with someone else’s feelings or pretending to be something you are not.
It’s more about the way in which you hold yourself. It’s about not giving yourself away to the first guy who pays you some attention and whom you happen to like.
This goes back to the very theme of the blog – that of being classy and sassy.
If you really do have a full life; have things going for you; have projects you are working on, then you are not really “playing hard to get”, are you?
No, you are hard to get. You have a life and therefore cannot be available and at people’s beck and call every time they want to see you or talk to you.
I heard a businessman once say that he doesn’t think too highly of people who are always available every time he calls a meeting.
It sounds like a pretty harsh thing to say. I’ve didn’t push the issue or ask him to expand on what he meant. It was pretty clear what he was trying to say.
Back to the guy you are seeing. Something may or may not happen between you two. That’s fine. It is not a big deal either way. This may or may not be the man you are meant to have a relationship with. If it is meant to happen, it will happen without you having to give yourself away then, won’t it?
You don’t have to sacrifice yourself and your time to MAKE something happen then do you?
You don’t have to be available every time he wants to see you then, do you?
What you do not do is pretend to be busy or unavailable when you are not. All that means is that you are not being yourself and at this point you are playing games. What you do is to continue doing all the things that you have been doing until now and not make him a priority. That’s how you “play hard to get”.
Here are just three reasons why it works:
1. It helps you to determine how interested he is in you and how serious he is about getting to know you. If you continue to do what you have always done and not make him a priority, he has to keep himself in your mind and in your life. If he is interested he will do that by calling you and scheduling time to see you despite your full life.
2. You work with human nature not against it. People always want what they cannot have. It is human nature. If you are busy with work, classes, friends, projects and all the little things that make you a well-rounded, radiant, fun individual, then it means that you do not have the time to focus solely on him.
You become elusive and scarce. Then you become a challenge to him. He will try to call you and see you more often. The challenge is now to get your attention.
3. It raises your value. When you do not give yourself away and are not always available, it raises your value in his eyes. If you are always available to him, he will begin to take you for granted.
He can have you at any time so your value drops. Why are blue diamonds so expensive? Because they are rare and hard to acquire. Suddenly, you are that rare blue diamond he has to have.
The concept behind “playing hard to get” works. When you change your perspective, suddenly playing hard to get takes on a whole new meaning.
You aren’t playing hard to get. You ARE hard to get.
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